Reminds me of the Monty Python bookshop sketch.
![:rofl2:](https://www.autos.ca/forum/Smileys/CarTalk/rofl.gif)
C: Ah...oh, I know! 'Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying'.
P: No, no, no, no, no,...What? WHAT?
![Huh ???](https://www.autos.ca/forum/Smileys/CarTalk/huh.gif)
??
C: 'Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying'.
P: 'Ethel the Aa--' YES!!!YES!!! WE'VE GOT IT!! (throwing books wildly about) I-I've seen it somewhere!!! I know it!!! Hee hee hee hee hee!!! Ha ha hoo ho---WAIT!! WAIT!! Is it?? Is it??? (triumphant) YES!!!!!! Here we are, 'Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying'!!!!! There's your book!! (throwing it down) Now, BUY IT!!!
C: (quickly) I don't have enough money.
P: (desperate) I'll take a deposit!
C: I don't have ANY money!
P: I'll take a check!!
C: I don't have a checkbook!
P: I've got a blank one!!
C: I don't have a bank account!!
P: RIGHT!!!! I'll buy it FOR you! (ring) There we are, there's your change, there's some money for a taxi on the way home, there's your book, now, now..
C: Wait, wait, wait!
P: What? What?!? WHAT?!? WHAT???!!
C: I can't read!!!
P: (staggeringly long pause; very quietly) You can't...read. (pause) RIGHT!!! Sit down!! Sit down!! Sit!! Sit!! Are you sitting comfortably??? Right!!! (opens book) 'Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the river valley one lovely morning, trottety-trottety-trottety, when she met a nice little quantity surveyor...' (fade out)