Ron, her wheel didn't "fly off" - I torqued to spec per the owner's manual for her old, old rusty car and chased her for weeks to let me retorque. She was always busy and I even went to a yoga class (we were both members of the same gym at the time) so I could do it but she ran out of the class to meet her mother for lunch and it was on that drive home that the lugbolts came loose on one wheel -certainly didn't fly off.
And re my dad's car, when I say loose, I mean 1/8-1/4 turn. Still far from "hand tight" or the like.
On my cars, I've never had any come loose at all - one retorque after driving down the street just to make sure the wheels are sitting right, and then it's done for the season.
I'vee never used aftermarket rims or nuts -all OEM. My dad's are 15 years old, and I suspect that has something to do with it.
I'm also incredibly careful to ensure that anti seize does not get on the studs, only on the rim hub where there is sign of contact.
The only two cars I've ever had issues with were both 15+ years old with the same bits and pieces that came with the cars when new.