When my wife has the car though, 100% of the time she's driving.
This is an interesting (and critical) point. I feel silly for not seeing it earlier. Setting aside the issue of who drives when a couple is out together, women obviously spend a ton of time driving themselves around in 21st society, just as men do. So that raises a question: is the safety for a man really significantly different than the safety for a woman?
If the safety issues are not different, why have gendered dummies at all?
If the safety issues are different, why does the NHTSA test never check how women will fare in the driver's seat?