But here we are with 21-inch alloys and ultra-low-profile tires, and an eight-speed automatic to handle a colossal 516 lb-ft of torque. A torque-vectoring rear differential and Audi’s Quattro all-wheel-drive work to get all the power to the ground in the most effective manner possible, and the gigantic 390 mm brakes shed speed like deploying a drag chute. Hundreds of computers run thousands of subroutines millions of times a second, measuring and recording and reacting faster than any human could. Given the slight sterility of the S7 model, the RS should be faster, but not necessarily enjoyable. But it is. Sweet mother of pearl, is it ever.
  2014 Audi RS 7 to the Cascades. Click image to enlarge |
I’ve had the opportunity to drive a 2004 RS6 before, the only model year Canada got them. Automatic, heavy, complicated – any computer dating service would have skipped over the match. But I loved it, and I love this.
We’re late leaving because of a flat tire that stranded the car for 24 hours while a replacement was sourced. Audi’s roadside assistance worked just fine, and the dealership went above and beyond, but the fact remains that this is a car with no spare and demanding rubber. That I don’t love.
Intending to leave at eight a.m., we end up hitting the road at two. Despite a quick border crossing, that leaves us just a few hours until nightfall, and in an enormous sedan/coupe/liftback painted the colour of a red flag, making time on the highway was absolutely out of the question. We just couldn’t afford to get stuck behind any dawdlers.
With Teutonic titans like this, sometimes the sense is that the car is bred only for the Autobahn, a high-speed environment that simply doesn’t exist in North America. The RS7, on the other hand, feels like it was made to pass stuff. Anything. Everything. Om nom nom.
Hammering down the canyon road leading into the gingerbread Bavarian fairyland of Leavenworth, we come upon a black TT coupe stuck behind a camper van. When the way clears, the driver of the TT gives us the “let’s go wave” and zips off ahead. Tickle the throttle and the RS7 growls and reels in the smaller car effortlessly. We get a thumbs up and an enthusiastic wave.
  2014 Audi RS 7, Leavenworth, WA. Click image to enlarge |
On the road, the big red Audi is relatively smooth, comfortable, slightly tending to rough thanks to those enormous wheels. The interior is a gorgeous wood and aluminium pinstripe, with diamond-quilted seats and a cockpit-like layout. For this kind of money, I wish the seats had adjustable side bolsters standard, but it’s a lovely place to be.
Certainly the RS7 owner we ran into in Wenatchee, WA, seemed to think so. As evening fell, we pulled into a Safeway parking lot for supplies, and were buttonholed by an older gent who had a good look over the option list – “The seats are nice. I have different wheels. Colour’s great” – before waxing ecstatic on just how fast the damn thing is. “I love mine,” he says, “I just never thought I’d see one in Wenatchee.”
