However, for two generously proportioned drag queens, the Fiat’s cockpit is a bit limiting. Madge is over six feet tall; add go-go boots and towering Marge Simpson wig and she’s pushing eight feet. And Diva is a whole lotta’ woman crammed into a leopard-skin evening gown. Convertible top to the rescue: the 500 Cabrio’s roof peels back like an accordion lid, allowing a good foot of purple beehive to poke through.
I suggest they start the car, pop one of their CDs into the stereo system, loosen up, and maybe vamp a little for the lens.
    2013 Fiat 500 Abarth Cabrio. Click image to enlarge |
Looking dubiously at the Fiat’s five-speed gear selector, Diva quips “Honey, I don’t do stick… at least, not this kind.”
Understandable when wearing six-inch stilettos.
Too bad. The stubby short shifter is a hoot to operate. In fact, everything about driving this car is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Press the red Sport button, and the Fiat wakes up. Steering response from the flat-bottomed wheel becomes noticeably sharper and that rorty exhaust note pops and burbles delightfully. It’s hilarious seeing the reaction of BMW drivers at the Fiat’s cut and thrust agility. The stiffly sprung suspension gives the 500c Abarth terrifically flat cornering ability, and while on paper, its 160 hp and 170 lb-ft may not sound like much – it only has to propel 1,154 kg. Suffice it to say, the Abarth is as frisky as a border terrier, and sounds like an angry bumblebee.
While tempting to run in Sport mode all the time, the constant droning tends to get, well, exhausting. And all that frenetic energy expends a lot of fuel – my consumption shot to 10.3 L/100 km with Sport engaged, compared to 9.0 while driving more conservatively. The official Energuide ratings are 7.1 city and 5.7 highway, although those numbers seem a little ambitious to me.
My tester came equipped with an optional TomTom Navigation system, which could be fixed to the dashboard with a removable attachment. Although easy to remove and install, the unit was a bit of a visual obstruction.
Steel sill plates tooled with the Abarth logo look really sharp – and are. Wiping them down should be done very carefully as the razor-sharp edges can inflict a nasty cut. Fortunately, the leather upholstery cleans up easily – errant sparkles and purple boa feathers may have raised some eyebrows back at the Chrylser’s Mississauga office.
 2013 Fiat 500 Abarth Cabrio. Click image to enlarge |
As a prop, the Fiat 500c Abarth was a big hit with my glamorous friends, but I think we all agreed that their Ford Focus – coincidentally mentioned on several top ‘gay car’ lists – was a much better fit.
For my carefree, low-maintenance, single lifestyle, the 500c with sting worked about as well as competitor Mini Roadster. Cute, nimble, frisky… and gay?
Depends entirely on your preference.
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2013 Fiat 500 Abarth Cabrio
Base Price (500 Abarth Cabrio): $27,995
Options: Leather Bucket seats $800, Air conditioning with auto control $195, Heated front seats $400, Security alarm $175, Red mirror cap and side body stripe $195, Beats Premium Audio Group $495, Sirius XM Satellite radio $325, TomTom Navigation with Blue&Me $495, 17-inch aluminum wheels $995
Air Tax: $100
Freight and PDI: $1,595
Price as tested: $33,765
Competitors:
Mini Cooper Roadster
Volkswagen Beetle Convertible
